The build up to Sunday’s game at Easter Road had been problematic. With an initial allocation of only 800 tickets the chances of getting any seemed slim.
I had tried every source possible and even the players and management were unable to get more than a couple of tickets each. It looked likely that it was going to have to be a watching brief on TV.
Then miraculously at half time at the Boro v Coventry game came the text that suggested tickets could be attained but probably in the Hibs end. That as it turned out would have been a problem for any Rangers fan but with a recognisable face like mine would be even more risky. What the hell - let’s go for it!
By 9am on match day I got a call saying that one ticket might be in the Rangers end and one in the home end, which was an improvement, so we set off up the A1. I really hate that road as it just drags but at least it was my turn to be the passenger. 'Simply the Best' was played repeatedly as we headed smoothly towards the Scottish capital.
We were parked up before twelve and made our way to our local on Easter Road, Middleton’s. My fourth visit in the last two seasons. The pub was already full with Rangers fans watching the Celtic game at Tannadice. More importantly the Leven boys were there and it now transpired that two tickets would be available for the Rangers end.
Getting better by the second, Geoff and I had already decided that the boys would not be buying any drinks, a small way of showing our appreciation. Celtic won but so what, it was in our own hands, which is more than could be said about our tickets.
'Bucket' had shown us them but then said he would give us them at the ground. “For fucks sake - I am 55 years of age and I was not going to lose them.” Then he was not answering his phone. Had he gone off and sold them? There was a danger of the Leven firm being a man down if he had.
After a five minute very anxious walk we found him outside the ground and he handed over the tickets. He will now be able to enjoy his 50th birthday bash in Vegas without his brains being even more damaged by my size eleven’s than the years of excess alcohol!
At the turnstiles it was class. Every scam known to man was being tried to gain access; old tickets, smuggled out and used again tickets, bribes, but the church going turnstile operators were not having any of it. There was another moment of panic as my ticket was scanned just as the stadium tannoy announced delays because of ticket forgeries. The scanning seemed to take an eternity but then I was in.
You beauty! For the second year in a row I was about to witness Rangers winning the League, I hoped. Then more concern; if Rangers did clinch the title today, next Saturday at Tannadice posed another problem. I am due to speak in Airdrie on the evening. Could I get to the game, then back to the gig? Let’s worry about that later. All we need to do is beat Hibs today.
As usual Rangers kept us sweating. The support was fantastic; non stop singing, the old songs and the new, 'We were not abused', a reminder of yet another benefit of being a Bear. Lafferty took us into dreamland and many Rangers fans were escorted out of home areas. That could have been us!
Half time came and ever the opportunist, my good friend Scott started selling, 'Rangers till I die' wrist bands with the proceeds going to the Former Player's Association. Got me - thinking perhaps I should take 5,000 copies of my autobiography to Celtic Park next Tuesday for everyone to read whilst Rangers play out the season. Come to think of it maybe I should take another 50,000 for the home support. Better reading a good book that enduring another tepid performance from Lennon’s boys!
The final whistle and a 53rd title was in our hands and cue a better show than the game. Yet again Nacho went mad, surpassing even Fiorentina, Hampden and Tannadice celebrations. I can guarantee that on the After Dinner circuit within days I will have attained Signed framed prints of the Spaniard wearing a Union jack coat, sombrero and Rangers scarf tied round his head. Rarely do you ever see players celebrating so much. It genuinely means as much to them as the fans.
As we left, the opportunist street sellers were offering Champions flags. Perhaps I should get a stall outside the ground as well! We said our goodbyes til' next week to our friends and walked past the park to our car and I noticed probably the fattest Hibs' casual. It was probably the dork that had been taunted last season about his obvious love for pies.
He was slumped on the corner, all 25 stone of him with a couple of his mates staring obviously in admiration and jealousy as the celebrating Rangers fans passed by. He then started to inch along the road and they started to shout their bile. I suppose years of abuse does make you bitter.
A few boys decided to have a quiet word and for sure it would end in tears as there was no chance of him running away. The sound of sirens saved him so it would have been a safe waddle back to the safety of his hovel rather than a trip to the local hospital for Fatboy.
As we headed south a few texts were exchanged with Rangers fans - OK, make that about fifty. Managed to pass congratulations onto Coisty and you could sense from his reply that he was bubbling and bouncing from his response. Bet they were going to have a great night.
After a short nap I was gagging for a piss, just outside Berwick I think. My caring driver drove all the way home and one hundred miles later I limped cross legged out of the car but not before we had alerted the whole estate to our arrival with Tina blasting from the open windows.
In eleven hours we had travelled over 300 miles, seen number 53 and enjoyed the company of our friends. It doesn’t get any better than that. Here’s to 54!
Monday was made busier as the media were hounding me for comments regarding the potential referee's strike in Scotland. I don't personally believe in strikes of any kind, but it just highlights the feelings of the officials up there who are concerned for their own safety.
Former FA Cup final referee, Jeff Winter, 
Rangers legend Andy Goram had a chat with us prior to his book launch, 
Going to the match? Better remember to pick up your Number One Fanzine.
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